Boy-ology 101

Thanks to the anonymous question sent to me during the previous post, I was given an inspiration for this post. This time, let’s talk about relationships involving people with big age differences. We’ll just talk about one situation - the one where the guy is older. Why that situation? Because I can relate to that. I’ve dated older guys before but I never had any experience dating really younger ones. And for me one or two years of age gap does not count, okay? We’ll talk big numbers here. At least five years difference.

Okay, I’ll stop rambling now about my personal experiences. I’ll get to the point. Here are the pros and cons of being a girl who’s dating an older guy.

Pros:
Some people say it’s ideal to date an older guy because studies show that girls mature faster than boys. So take a girl and a guy who’s two years older, then what you get is two people on the same maturity level. So that’s good, right? Another pro of dating someone older is that there is a certain level of financial security and stability with that person. Especially if he is someone who’s already working and you’re the type who thinks too much about your own future. It would be nice to date someone with a stable job. Expect to be spoiled by that kind of guy. He would take you out to fancy shmancy dinner dates, out-of-town trips, and shower you with presents. I don’t mean to sound like a gold-digger but who doesn’t want to be spoiled, right? Another plus is that you don’t have to deal with jealousy over some overrated computer game. He has other mature interests that doesn’t involve video games.

Cons:
There’s definitely going to be a lot of pressure in this kind of set-up. Well, a lot of pressure on your part. You’ll be pressure to act more maturely. You’ll be pressured to look the part as well. Also, it would be hard to relate to him. For example, you would tell him how your day went, and ramble on and on about some girl in your class. In the meantime, he would tell you about how bad his day was at work because of his temperamental boss. It’s hard when you think your problems were bad enough when they would seem petty compared to his. Of course, there is always that possibility that you might have a hard time hanging out with his friends because you have different interests from them. Lastly, and the most inevitable part is the public’s opinion. Let’s admit it, some people look down on couples in a May-December love affair. It’s hard for some people to accept these set-ups in the society and you can’t help being the object of their gossip. It’s mean but that’s the reality of it.

I’m not saying that it’s wrong to date someone who’s older. I’m just merely giving you the pros and cons of being in that situation. I, for one, would still prefer to date someone older. In the end, it’s not about the pros and cons that matter. What really matters is how you handle these. What really matters is that the good parts always overcome the bad parts. What really matters is that you love each other enough to stay together.

Let’s talk about jealousy first. Admit it, girls are more likely to feel jealous than guys. Or rather, girls are more likely to show that they’re jealous than guys. This is because girls are more in touch with their emotions. Both girls and guys can feel insecure of someone from the same gender. But girls have this tendency to not be discreet about it. Plus, most guys, if not all, have super huge egos. A guy can never admit that someone is more handsome than him. 

Now let’s talk about dealing with jealousy issues. If you see your boyfriend talking to another girl, don’t bombard him with accusations. You don’t want to pick a fight because you jumped to a wrong conclusion. Just act cool, ask him who the girl is, and ask him if he could introduce you to each other. If the girl is really just a friend, then he will introduce you to her. Now, if he acts defensively, then he’s giving you a reason to be jealous. But don’t pick a fight yet. Simply talk to him about it and trust your instincts. More often than not, female instincts are almost always correct.

Every guy has an ideal girl but there are things that most, if not all, guys would always want in a girl. And here they are.

• A guy wants a girl who is confident with herself. He wants a girl who embraces her imperfections, and flaunts what she has. He wants a girl who doesn’t need to be constantly reassured that she is beautiful because she already knows that she is. But no, she’s not arrogant. She’s just not the type who would bring herself down.
• A guy wants a girl with a sense of humor. He doesn’t want a girl who can only talk about serious stuff. If the girl someone he can have a sensible conversation with while having a sense of humor, then she can really spark his interest. A guy loves it when he can make a girl laugh because it’s good for his ego. But he loves it all the same if she can make him laugh.
• A guy wants a girl who understands his being a guy. The average guy cannot live without his manly and somewhat disgusting habits. The average guy always has a favorite sport. The average guy spends less time grooming himself than the average girl. The average guy isn’t really comfortable with talking about his feelings. And a guy wants a girl who can understand and accept all that. If the girl can live with all that, then that’s good for both of them. And if the girl is into the same sports, the guy will love her for it.
• A guy wants a girl who doesn’t lose herself in a relationship. A guy would love a girl who know how to be a good girlfriend but at the same time, knows how to value her individuality and privacy. He wants a girl who doesn’t constantly need to be together. He wants a girl who won’t act paranoid whenever he’s on a boys’ night out. He wants a girl who will also spare some time for her friends. He wants a girl who supports his hobbies but also invests time for her own interests.

And that’s about it. Of course, in addition to all these, a guy would want <insert physical attribute here>, etcetera, etcetera. And that’s something I can never be sure of. Haha. So that’s up to you to figure out. :)

The situation: You are talking non-stop and you just gave him a long winded speech about how your day went, in complete detail. You complained about school or work, and every negative emotion that you felt that day. Then all he gives you is this blank stare and a half-nod. And maybe even a scowl.

The real deal: He probably had a rough day himself that he’s not in the mood to talk. He’s not exactly being unfair; he just needs some understanding. Girls need understanding in the form of comforting and cuddling. Guys need understanding in the form of some me-time. Guys, in general, don’t usually talk about their emotions. At least not right away with their girlfriends. They will talk to you eventually, just give him time. You see, when guys are in a bad mood, their aggressive nature comes out. Calming him down won’t work. And complaining to him about your day might just piss him off further that you may end up fighting. So if you had a rough day and you can sense that he’s had it too, just let him be. Misery won’t find company in this situation. Just look to your girl friends for comfort instead and let him cool down in his own way. You can always talk and cuddle when you’re both feeling okay. Remember: when he wants to be comforted, he will let you know. He will initiate. :)

Girls, here’s a fun entry for you. I got this from another blog that I was browsing a while ago. Check if you and your guy are an ideal match. If you’re single, check which signs you are most compatible with. Guys, you can check this out too. These Zodiac matches are applicable to all, regardless of gender.

Aries (March 21 - April 19)
Best Matches: Leo, Sagittarius, Libra
Worst Matches: Pisces, Gemini, Virgo 

Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
Best Matches: Scorpio, Virgo, Capricorn
Worst Matches: Aries, Sagittarius, Gemini

Gemini (May 21 - June 20)
Best Matches: Libra, Aquarius, Leo
Worst Matches: Taurus, Cancer, Pisces

Cancer (June 21 - July 22)
Best Matches: Capricorn, Scorpio, Pisces
Worst Matches: Gemini, Aries, Sagittarius

Leo (July 23 - August 22)
Best Matches: Aquarius, Aries, Sagittarius
Worst Matches: Gemini, Capricorn, Pisces

Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
Best Matches: Pisces, Taurus, Capricorn
Worst Matches: Aries, Libra, Aquarius

Libra (September 23 - October 22)
Best Matches: Aries, Gemini, Aquarius
Worst Matches: Virgo, Scorpio

Scorpio (October 22 - November 21)
Best Matches: Cancer, Virgo, Pisces
Worst Matches: Aries, Gemini, Sagittarius

Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)
Best Matches: Gemini, Aries, Leo
Worst Matches: Taurus, Cancer, Virgo, Scorpio, Capricorn 

Capricorn (December 22 - January 19)
Best Matches: Cancer, Taurus, Virgo
Worst Matches: Aries, Gemini, Leo, Sagittarius

Aquarius (January 20 - February 18)
Best Matches: Gemini, Libra
Worst Matches: Taurus, Cancer, Virgo

Pisces (February 18 - March 20)
Best Matches: Virgo, Cancer, Scorpio
Worst Matches: Aries, Gemini, Leo 

If your partner is your best match, then good for you. If not, don’t fret. This isn’t necessarily true. A relationship isn’t based on whether the two persons involved are perfect Zodiac matches. A relationship is based on how these two persons make things work for them. :)

(Source: fantasyworld.wordpress.com)